Mommy Guilt...

Okay, so this morning, after working this weekend at a football game and an alumni event, I am experiencing some serious "Mommy Guilt." I get to work and I realize that I didn't look into beautiful blue eyes enough, nor did I smell that sweet baby smell enough, nor did I listen to that silly little boy tell his ramblings of importance in the world of a six year old...enough. Nope, not near enough. Yes, I did a good job for my school, my University. I washed and put away (mostly) six loads of clothes, did the grocery shopping, straightened the house, raked a neglected flower bed, planted roses in desperate need of a home and cleaned up from cutting trees. Yep, it was a busy weekend. The same things that all moms do everyweekend...working or not. . Yep, for most of it the kids were right there. But as I sit at my desk on a Monday morning and stare at pictures of those precious babies, I realize that I didn't enjoy my children near enough. I keep hearing from my friends that have children older than mine that I should enjoy these days. That they slip away all too quickly. In my head and heart I know this is true but LIFE just seems to get in the way.
I often wonder if it all stems from that decision to be a working mom? My mom worked from home but she was for all practical purposes a stay-at-home mom. She could schedule around any ball game, school activity, sleepover that I had...and usually did. Is this what I am experiencing. The guilt of not being able to do the same for my children? Are the weekends just not enough time to enjoy being a mom. Do their needs not get met. I often feel like I don't know how to be a working mom. That I expect to be able to do for my children the way I was "done for." Is it realistic. Probably not. Is it something I will ever stop striving to be? Absolutely not.